I never really knew my Grandma Gibson, my Mum's Mum. She died before I was old enough to collect many memories. Mostly, I remember the day she died. It was the first time I had ever seen my Mum cry. I remember how she gathered us in her arms and I remember being scared. I remember the big, checkered, green armchair that we sat in as she held us.
How horrible it must have been for my Mum. She was so far away from Scotland when she got the news. She must have felt so alone.
I have seen lots of pictures of her...Jessie. Jessie Gibson. She looked liked someone I would like a lot. She had a genuine smile and looked like a grandma who would give lots of cuddles. I remember in one photograph, she was wearing the coolest cats eye glasses. We were playing in the paddling pool in her back garden. In that photo, I am younger than Isla is now. How much she has missed. How much I want to talk to her and tell her about my life and ask about hers. I want to know about my Mum from her Mum. I want to hear stories. So much is lost.
She had cancer. When I was little they told me that she died in her sleep, just never woke up. It sounded so peaceful that I never gave it a second thought. Now though, now when I think about her death, I think about how she must have suffered. How she must have worried about her daughters, one in England and one in Canada. Both far away. She must have longed for them to be near. How hard it must have been for my Mum to grieve so far from home. To get up and put on a brave face. We didn't know. We were too young. She didn't fly to Scotland for the funeral. She didn't get to say goodbye that way.
So much about my Grandma Gibson seems cut short. My information about her doesn't do her life justice. I must find out more about her so when Isla comes to me and asks about her Great Grandma Gibson I can sit her on my lap and tell her some stories. Stories about a good woman who died too young but left a legacy of love behind.
When we woke up and saw the sun, we fairly ran for the lake. It was glorious to feel the warmth of the sun on our skin and, as I looked out across the water, I got a little bit teary. I am always dazzled by the beauty of where I live but perhaps due to the dreary weather we have been experiencing lately, I was especially moved by the magnificence around me. It was sublime.
We stayed for hours. We read books and chatted but mostly, we just watched our children play. Ah...the long, lazy days of summer. Each one stretching out before us, endless with possibility. I am filled with gratitude!
